Brandywine Investigations Read online

  With a distracted pat to Hermes's shoulder, he abandoned his siblings and wandered up the table to talk to Uncle Hades, who wouldn't ask too many questions and would never make fun of him for his inability to make a stable library door.

  Uncle Hades's Door

  Chapter Two

  You're serious?" Meghan leaned against the passenger door of the Huracán so she could face him. "You have this magical library that all gods have automatic library cards for, and you've never gone?"

  "No. Why would I? And there aren't any library cards. I don't think."

  "You weren't a little bit curious?"

  George snorted from the incredibly inadequate backseat. "If he can't eat it, play it, drink it, or fuck it, he's not interested."

  "Hey! That's not true! I love cars and clothes and those cute miniature deer bunny things—"

  "Cavies."

  "Yeah, those!"

  "I know, Boss, but you don't read," George insisted.

  "I do so."

  "Not sure comic books count," Meghan said gently.

  "There are words. The words tell a story. The pictures just make the words less boring."

  "I get that. But I'm willing to bet this isn't a graphic-novel kind of library."

  "Shame if it's true." Dio downshifted as they took the Concord Pike exit off I-95. "Maybe I should donate some to the Collection."

  Meghan laughed, exactly what he'd been going for. She'd been too quiet on the drive down from New York, and he was sure that was his fault. Surly and distracted the last few days, he knew he'd worried her. He hadn't even stopped by Bacchante House to visit with the Maenad troop, and though he knew it wasn't right to neglect them just because he was out of sorts, he couldn't bring himself to face them.

  They worship me. The sacred rivers only know why. So many better gods, smarter ones, more powerful ones. Less crazy ones. But this trip was all about lessening the crazy. Maybe he would be more worthy of their adoration if he were more in control. He realized he'd lost time when he pulled up to the gated entrance to Uncle Hades's condominium complex. Good thing he'd done this drive a couple dozen times before. They were expected, so the guardian of the gate allowed them to pass. Not a terribly impressive guardian compared to, say, Cerberus or a sphinx or something. A potbellied human with a box of donuts just couldn't compare. Though donuts were nice. He liked the kind with the cream filling. So decadent, biting into it and then licking out the cream. Just like—

  George interrupted his wandering thoughts. "Boss? You gotta actually drive inside the garage. We're not gonna fly the car up to Lord Hades's place."

  "About that." Dio kept his voice light as if he had just been hesitating instead of drifting in La-La Land. "When are we gonna get the stinking flying cars already? Would've thought they'd make them by now."

  "They have made some. Prototypes, at least. You should talk to your brother about it." Meghan seemed to be carefully parceling out her words. "I bet Angelus Corp could manage one for you. And I probably shouldn't be suggesting it."

  "Oh, hey! That's a great idea!" He fumbled with the hands-free buttons as he pulled into the garage.

  Meghan's laugh was more certain this time, more spontaneous. "Not now, Boss. You're gonna get all distracted again."

  "Damn. Right. Remind me later." He swung open his door as soon as he parked, and Meghan gracefully followed suit, accustomed by now to the Lamborghini's gull wings. "Oh, and remind me I want to take Uncle Hades and company out to dinner as a thank you."

  "Got it."

  "So long as we don't have to take the damn dog," George muttered as he contorted his way out of the car.

  The little sneaker-style coverings George wore reduced the click of his hooves on the concrete garage floor to little thups instead of hard clops, one of his many concessions to spending most of his time in the human world. It was amazing what humans no longer questioned. As long as George wore human clothes and a hat, they assumed he had deformed feet, which apparently made them so universally uncomfortable that they pretended the cloth-covered hooves weren't there.

  The elevator gave a genteel ping when it opened on the seventh floor, and Dio couldn't help stomping as he walked on the ridiculously deep-pile carpet of the hallway. At least that way he could get his boot buckles to jangle and break up the quiet. Old money lives here, the carpet sniffed in disapproval, threatening to swallow his feet.

  Yeah, well, I'm older money than I look, snooty textile.

  At the end of the hallway, a tall, cadaverous figure stood backlit in the doorway, features swallowed by shadow. A soft, chill bass reached out to stroke the air between them. "What business do you have here, you pack of miscreants?"

  Proper minions would have managed to toss back some appropriate insults. George just snorted and rolled his eyes, while Meghan let out a little cry and charged the figure in the doorway. Was it to defend him? No. She flung herself squealing into the long, skeletal arms that opened for her.

  "Char! Where've you been?"

  Charon, erstwhile ferryman of dead souls and Uncle Hades's assistant, hugged Meghan tight before setting her back on her feet. "Sorry I haven't been to book club. His lordship's last case was a bit grueling."

  "But you're all right? Everything solved?" She took his arm as he steered her inside, the nearly two-foot difference in height giving them the appearance of parent and child.

  "Oh, yes. Superheroes always solve things in the end, you know." Charon's clawed hand patted hers as she gazed up at him without an ounce of fear. "What are we reading now?"

  "The Forgotten Garden."

  Charon made an appreciative sound. "Lovely. Are you far?"

  "We're still on part one, so you can catch up."

  "Is it nice and creepy?"

  "Very moody. Atmospheric. You'll love it."

  "Hey!" Dio still stood in the doorway, his progress blocked. "Other people in the room, you know."

  With a slow turn of his head and a deliberate glance down, Charon said, "Lord Dionysus, I didn't see you there. You're always so unobtrusive and easy to overlook."

  "Nephew, leave Charon be," a deeper, more commanding bass than Charon's rolled out from the study.

  Dio edged past the literary discussion in the front hall to hurry over and attack-hug his uncle as he emerged. "Hooray, you're here! I thought you'd left us to the mercies of Mr. Biting Sarcasm."

  Uncle Hades's silver brows drew together before he murmured, "I won't bother to ask. But he has so few friends beyond the elderly ladies in the building. Let them have a moment."

  Not for the first time that day, Dio felt like a selfish twit. The first couple thousand years of Charon's life had been strange and lonely, ferrying often-frightened human souls across the Styx to the Underworld. The connections he made now were precious. Dio was about to ask where Ti was when a torpedo of fur and large paws shot out of the bedroom.

  "No!" George shouted, backing toward the balcony doors. "No, no, no!"

  "Nike! Place!" Uncle Hades snapped.

  Too late. The charging canine leaped and took George to the ground where she pinned him and slobbered all over his face. "Oh, holy… gross! Get this monster off of me!"

  Uncle Hades snapped his fingers and cleared his throat. His young boerboel looked up at him in unabashed admiration, stubby tail wagging furiously. She launched off George and bounded to her place beside her god, happy to accept the ear scratching he offered. "My apologies, Gregorius. Are you all right?"

  "Bruised ass and scared the living shit out of me. Yeah. Just great." George grumbled and then shot Uncle Hades a chagrined glance. "Um, my lord."

  "She's quite taken with you, but I'm afraid she forgets how much she's grown."

  "My lord, you're too indulgent with her." Charon shook his head as he moved into the kitchen. "She can't keep assuming everyone wants to play with her."

  "She's a good girl. Aren't you? Who's a good girl?" Uncle Hades ruffled Nike's ears, then cleared his throat. "Ah. Yes, well. I am sorry. Nike, leave Gr
egorius alone."

  Tail wagging, tongue hanging out, she plopped down beside him as if she understood. Maybe she did. Dio's cats all understood him. "So, where's Ti?" Dio blurted out in an effort to save his uncle more embarrassment.

  Uncle Hades silver brows drew together again, though whether the dark frown was disapproval or confusion was difficult to say. "At a convention in Florida. Something called Supercon. I'm not certain I understand entirely. There seems to be a good bit of adults acting as imaginary beings, but he is a guest this year. Only polite to attend, I assume."

  "He'll be back tomorrow," Charon added with his head in a cabinet. "And thank the holy rivers for that. My lord has been insufferably despondent without him." He ignored the warning growl from aforesaid lord. "Meghan, did he eat?"

  "He had breakfast," Meghan said with a pat to Nike's head. "But that was three hours ago."

  "Standing right here." Dio waved at them. "I'm not a little kid anymore, Char. I can manage for a few hours without eating."

  Charon straightened from his rummaging and held out a paper bag. His smile was a little crooked as he said, "Just in case."

  With a sigh, Dio took the bag and peeked inside to find dates and shelled almonds. Just what Charon would have given him when he was fifteen, recently arrived in the Underworld to recover from years of artificially induced madness, completely lost, hurting, and foundering. A mini-lump lodged in his throat. "Thanks, Char."

  "Any time. Try not to cause any trouble I have to clean up today."

  Dio laughed. "No promises. Don't make me lie to you. Are we ready?"

  "In my study." Uncle Hades waved a hand toward his inner sanctum as they all trooped after him. "The doorway will open into my reading room—"

  "You have your own room in this library?"

  "The gods who helped build the library and to fill its shelves all have their own rooms, yes. Please be cautious going through. There may be a step."

  "May be, Lord Hades?" George asked as he stripped out of his human clothes.

  "The floors don't always align properly. Difficult to adjust from one plane to the other. The door will not grant you access without me, so you must knock when you wish to return."

  Uncle Hades removed a painting of a storm-swept beach from the far end of his study and tapped the wall. There was a snick, then the outline of a door glowed faintly against the patterned wallpaper. "The Eternal Library was built as a labyrinth. The library assistants will bring you back here if you cannot find your way."

  When he tapped the door outline again, it was no longer a part of the wall but a solid door of polished black stone that swung open at the touch of his fingers. "One last caution."

  Dio stopped with his foot halfway over the threshold. "Yes?"

  "Don't be alarmed by the librarian. His appearance can be…… startling to some."

  "Uncle Hades, I hang out with fauns. My brother's boyfriend is a dragon. One of my guardians was Charon the ferryman, and I sometimes hang out with animal-headed gods. Seriously?"

  "Even so." Uncle Hades swung the door wide for them and stepped aside. "Knock when you wish to leave. Charon or I will be here."

  "Thanks, Uncle Hades." Dio threw his arms around his uncle's barrel chest, gratified when the hug was returned. Years ago, his socially uncomfortable uncle wouldn't even have allowed the hug.

  They stepped into a room of dark paneled wood and heavy masculine furniture. Not exactly a shock, but it was a comfortable room all the same, a good place for reading if you liked that sort of thing. A sheet-cake-sized book lay open on the central table in Gothic script and gold-leafed splendor.

  Meghan tugged at his sleeve. "Is that book hissing at us?"

  "Hmm. Yes. Shh. That's a good book." Dio leaned over and stroked the book until it fell silent. "Chthonic mysteries, knowing Uncle Hades. There's snakes and stuff in those."

  "Whoa. Cool. Does it bite?"

  Dio shrugged. "Maybe? I haven't been around too many living books." Or any that I recall.

  The door to the condo had vanished, leaving them in a rectangular room with comfortable chairs and a leather chaise, but only a few scattered books. Obviously not the library proper. An open archway on the far side of the room promised further exploration though, and Uncle Hades had said the place was a labyrinth. Probably lots of little hideaways like this one.

  He caught sight of library-esque bookshelves through the arch, floor-to-ceiling, but the ceiling was low, not even seven feet high. "Char would get a backache in here so fast." Dio peeked out and found that a bookshelf blocked the way to the left. They had a choice of right or straight down a short corridor. "This doesn't look so bad. I mean, all the books are in reach and there aren't that many."

  "All these look like they're in Etruscan, anyway, Boss," George said as he leafed through a book with plant sketches. "So your Thracian charms wouldn't be in this section."

  "See? We can do this." Dio smiled and headed right, marching past the rows of ancient Etruscan gathered into folios and bound books. The row ended, and he was forced to take another right and then another as the walls herded them around the outside of Uncle Hades's reading room. Brighter light shone up ahead. Dio headed for that and stopped at the end of the corridor with his jaw unhinged.

  Straight ahead and to the right, the corridors opened up into wider passages where they could walk side by side. The bookcases soared upward, shelf upon shelf for thirty feet, with rolling ladders attached. As good as Dio's eyes were, he couldn't make out the colors of the books at the top, let alone the titles.

  "Aw, fuck me."

  "Maybe not right now, Boss," George muttered.

  "It's a joke, right?" Dio paced forward slowly, turning to take in the multitude, the legion of books. Even though it was intimidating and the sheer volume of books was frustrating, it felt oddly welcoming. "It smells like rose."

  Meghan gave him an odd look. "I don't smell roses."

  "No, no, not like roses. Like rose. The color."

  "Okay, I'll bite." Meghan gave him a puzzled half-smile. "Colors have smells?"

  "Of course they do. When you walk into the woods in the beginning of spring, you smell green. You know that smell."

  "That's plants sprouting," George said. "Of course it's green."

  "No. See, if plants were all of it, all of spring would smell green and most of summer too. Green smells new and starting things-ish. It's rain and dirt and things just creeping out of burrows. You know, green."

  Meghan nudged him. "And the library smells rose?"

  "Yeah. You guys don't believe me, so whatever."

  "Just because we don't sense things the same way doesn't mean we don't believe you." She wrapped an arm around his waist, making him stop his circles. "What does rose smell like?"

  "Like light and warmth and crinkling things. Like moth wings and wind in leaves. Like…" He waved a hand to encompass the shelves. "This."

  She kissed his cheek. "I think I get it. I can't smell it, but I understand the feeling."

  "Good. All right." He gave her a grin and skipped forward a couple of steps. "We need a plan. No way we can just— Oh, look! A sign."

  He jogged ahead to where polished black stone floors gave way to gray marble. The shelves ended here, and the ceiling vanished into shadow overhead. A grand staircase spiraled up from below, apparently ending on the floor above. Dragons snarled from the carved banisters, griffins and all manner of beasts glowered from the risers, every inch of wood and stone covered in carvings both floral and faunal.

  "Pretty," Dio breathed, gazing up, then clinging to the balustrade and peering down.

  "Focus, Boss." George patted his shoulder. "I think the sign's kind of a directory."

  A plaque riveted to the marble plinth near the stairs contained a list etched into the gold with a word or series of words followed by a number.

  * * *

  Alexandrian Collection 3

  Papyri 2

  Etruscan Collection 2

  Albion Collection
1

  Minoan Transcriptions 4

  * * *

  "Hold on." Dio stared at the plaque, then back up and down the staircase. "It's telling us the floor number where shit is. We have to be on the second floor 'cause of all the Etruscan junk. Looks like there's four freaking floors."

  George whistled, long and low. "That's a lot of books if we're searching blind."

  "Yeah. We need help. Meggie, what's this?" Dio pointed to the word "Circulation" on the plaque. "The air conditioning or something?"

  "That's the desk where you'd go to check out books or get a library card in a regular library," Meghan said, peering over his shoulder. "I don't know what they do here, but library staff's bound to be there."

  "Okay, so we each take a floor and look for help. George, you go down and find Circulation. You know, sniff it out."

  "I don't know what a Circulation Desk smells like."

  "Sure, but it's gotta be manned by someone who's not one of us and who isn't a book." Dio nudged him toward the stairs. "Meggie, you go up to Three. Maybe there's someone up there. I'll stay on this floor and poke around. Meet back here in, oh, about an hour."

  George grumbled but started down without hesitation. Meghan gave him a sloppy salute and ran up the stairs, vanishing into the shadows.

  The Eternal Library

  Chapter Three

  Dio returned to the shelf-lined corridors, soon found himself at a dead-end, and had to backtrack. He returned to Uncle Hades's reading room and tried another direction only to find himself stuck in a book cul-de-sac again. When he retraced, a book on the right caught his eye. Thrace could have been in the title, though the printing on the spine was too small to be sure.